I feel lost and scared again... Feel like I'm going through another episode, for some reason, I feel lost and feel insecure again. I think there would only be someone who can handle me at this rate. I drink and smoke now, my 10 years old self would not imagine I'd ended up like this. Ammar would be really disappointed if he knows. I guess that was for the best we break up. I feel like he was distancing himself from me. Not like that was something new to me. But for some reason, I feel glad because otherwise, I would keep running back to him.

I got a new circle now.

Pretty much my haram circle. But, I feel at ease whenever I'm with them. I feel happy and content that I able to know them. I missed my old friends. Syaf already got engaged. And god knows how stunning she looks on that day. Bila graduated and had her convo already, again she looks so damn cute. Too bad it was in Johor, otherwise I would be there. I owed her a treat for that.

I do miss the rest of my friends. Ayo keeps his distance from us, and the same goes for Iera. Nizam with his never-ending bicker with Laleen.

For some reason, I feel lost to keep up with Nayli and Ammar. I think it's normal to lose track with other as we were growing up. 

You know that euphoric feeling when you're doing something that you love? Mine is riding the train, and getting on board on flight. This is my escape with a little splash of Ariana's song in my brain