I want assurance, not just words but I want you to walk through it

Not saying it's okay to end things when I expressed my doubts. I'm too tired to go through the same things over and over again. 

I do feel happy with him but most of the time I feel upset. It frustrated me so much every time I talk to him. Like I don't want to be there while I'm the one who calls in the first place. I get that ick and I don't know how to control it. 

Others don't really know how to advise me, or comfort me. I don't really have that comfort friend

I want a solution, not the big idea, oh you think by yourself kind of bullshit. Maybe I think about it too much but really I just don't have someone to reach out to get advice. 

He removed me from his personal Twitter and deactivate his main Twitter. Not like I'm stalking him just going through my dm list, his account isn't there anymore. 

It kind of hurts but if I had the urge to move on, so why couldn't he have the same thoughts? I'm not the only one who gets hurt in this.

I missed the time we are not tied to each other, but deep down I just think I'm not ready for all of this.

You know that euphoric feeling when you're doing something that you love? Mine is riding the train, and getting on board on flight. This is my escape with a little splash of Ariana's song in my brain