One thing no one ever told me is how this feeling never really left

I constantly feel lonely, alone, and overwhelmed. I don't know if it is really because I have a mental illness or I just hate the thoughts of being alone

You see, people see me as this strong, and independent. Like I'm always happy but the truth is, I constantly feel like I'm not enough 

No matter what I do, I always feel helpless. Every time I express how I needed help, they always undermine it. So why bother right?

I don't really feel good today, couldn't even get up from bed. I constantly feel the need to sleep because no matter what I do, I always feel a sense of loss

How come those who know, yet don't even bother to show that they care. They don't bother enough to be there. Yet the audacity to ask why I don't want to open up. They don't even give any reason for me to  

Am I really that awful that I don't deserve it?   

I think this is me relapsing,  and I'm truly alone this time                  

You know that euphoric feeling when you're doing something that you love? Mine is riding the train, and getting on board on flight. This is my escape with a little splash of Ariana's song in my brain