I always feel like I'm losing. There is always someone better than me and I know for a fact it is not something that I can randomly change. Maybe I really haven't understood myself better that's why? This post has been overdue since 2018 and I think it would be nice to finally clear out all my thoughts. By clear out I mean posting all my drafts. Because why not? I'm in the middle places right now, nothing feels wrong but nothing feels right either. I feel like things could've got better. But things slowing taking their places and I'm not mad about that. 

Just happy with just how things turned out. 

I have friends, quite a few but it's okay. I don't really mind about that. Fewer friends, fewer things to think about. I have my family, encemboi and my close friends. I lose so many friends but never ever I regret anything. I don't really feel like I need to try all the time just to fit in. It was the happiest moment that I could think of for now.

It's gonna be a roller coaster ride for me when I finished my studies after this. You know when the job hunting season started. But it's okay. I'm in peace with my future now