21 now

Nothing really change that much, just feeling a little better at controlling my emotion. 

You know, I thought maybe it'll be merrier than it was before. I don't why I think so. Things clearly has changed. 

I miss my campus life, I was so happy back then. I have friends by my side now I'm just a bystander. You know I could have been so much more, but I'm too chickened out. My plan this year is to give all my friends some kind of gift.

Nayli keeps asking me what I want for my birthday. I don't really have anything in mind but I really wanted to get them something though

Ayah left me on my birthday, it's kinda hurt to know that I'll missed him every year on my birthday. Ayah looked like he is on ease during in the morgue. Ammar's mom keep asking for my update, how do I break it to him? That I don't want him?

Umi prayed that all ayah's pain is being ease. If it mean ayah leaving us, we are already at peace with that. Ayah had been through a lot, it must had been really hard for Ayah

Ayah can rest now. We are doing fine, he doesn't have to worry about us anymore. We will be fine, we need to

You know that euphoric feeling when you're doing something that you love? Mine is riding the train, and getting on board on flight. This is my escape with a little splash of Ariana's song in my brain